Forbidden Desires
by Whisper Calaway
Summary: This Story will be posted here under another name, I will no longer update it from this account. It will be deleted soon. Thank you.
1. Return To Hogwarts

**August 3**  
  
The muggle train station, it looked like it always had, except for a few minor changes in things. It was still crawling with muggles, who are, if you don't know by now, people who have no magic ability. As for myself, I am almost completely pure in my line of blood, but even if I weren't, I would still be a proud witch as I have always been. Oh, forgive me for being rude, my name is Alexandra Nichole Garrison; most of my friends call me Alex, Nikki, or just Nichole. Ah yes, back on track with this journal thing, I do tend to ramble you know.  
  
With a light sigh, I walked away from the car where my parents were waving goodbye to me, I felt like a first year again. The only reason I felt that way is because it had been over two and a half years since I had even seen anything except the walls of my room or the hospital room. And at this moment, the very sight of the pillar where platform nine and three quarters was made me grow excited, I was finally going back to Hogwarts!  
  
Ah yes, I seem to have forgotten a few other details about myself that you most likely should know. First off is that I am a sixth year student, and headgirl and prefect of the Slytherin house. Though I know that is not what you wanted to know, but Slytherin is actually a great house to be in, but that is not the point at this moment. You must be wondering why I was speaking of not seeing the school, or anything else for that matter, in a long time so I shall explain.  
  
**Flashback**  
_"Hermione, stay here and take care of Ron. He's right. This is something that I must do alone." Harry Potter, a first year Gryffindor, said to his friend Hermione Granger.  
Watching as he left the chess room to pursue whoever or whatever it was that they had come down here for.  
Of course I was watching from the shadows of the large room, silently hoping that the Weasley boy was going to live. That was something that no one was going to find out, it was utterly disgusting to think that I was actually worried about some first years who had broken so many rules and were about to get so many points taken away that it would make their heads spin.  
Even though I wanted to help the first years, I was afraid. I know, yes me, a fourth year student was afraid of this when even the first years were down here, it was shameful I tell you. Though eventually, my mind had talked me into helping them, but no sooner than I stepped out of the shadows of my hiding place, a very large piece of one of the chess figures fell right onto me, rendering me completely unconscious.  
  
_That accident had almost cost me my life, but a teacher had saved me, so I was told. But I will explain that story to you at a later date, now, back on with what I need to do on the train, I can't write in my journal forever you know!  
  
"Will all prefects please dress in your robes and start examining your cars to make sure that all students are present!" Came a voice over the speakers of the train just as I had finished writing in my journal and putting it away.  
With a smile I stood and slid on my robes along with my silver prefect badge, proudly displaying the Slytherin colors, as I should. Before leaving my car, I silently placed a charm on my robes so that they wouldn't keep billowing about me all the time, and then I stepped out into the hallway of the train.  
Walking down the corridor and checking in on the students, I got numerous "Hello" 's and a great many "Glad to see you are back!" 's and it made me feel wonderful to be back on that train, at least for the moment.  
I had only three cars left to check before I could go back to my own when I peeked into one of them and saw Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, and Harry Potter.  
"Nichole Garrison! It is great to see you are here again!" Came Hermione's voice from inside the car before she swung the door open and pulled me inside for a moment.  
I smiled at her and the two boys before nodding and folding my hands in front of me, "I am rather glad to be back to school, it had gotten so boring with doing my lessons by owl post."  
They all nodded and then Harry stood up and smiled at me, "Thank you for all the help you gave us when we went after Voldemort."  
Ron piped up and said, "Yes, thank you. Would you like a chocolate frog, or some Bertie Botts?"  
I laughed lightly and then shook my head, "No thank you, I must be along with my rounds you know. Though I do thank you for your kind words, if I could award points to you, I would give each of you fifty for being so kind to me."  
They all nodded as I left the car and then checked the next one, unfortunately that car contained Neville Longbottom, that strange little Colin boy, and Semus Fleming. I quickly moved on from that car to the last. Upon opening the door I was greeted with a smirk and two equally dull looks, you can guess who was in that car.  
"Ah, I see that our headgirl has finally decided to come back to school after so long." Draco Malfoy said as he rose to his feet.  
Goodness but he was tall now, not to mention very handsome like his father, it was a pity that we were so far apart in ages.  
"Draco Malfoy, how utterly wonderful to see you and your duo of sidekicks once again." I said though almost clenched teeth.  
The boy was handsome and very well spoken, but he was a Malfoy and as such, he was a spoiled little brat whom I would have loved to strangle for even looking at me in such a way as he was at this moment.  
He seemed to be taking my discomfort of his gaze to be very amusing because he circled me slowly before coming to a stop in front of me again, his eyes piercing into my own.  
"If there is something you wish to say Mr. Malfoy, do it now, I do not have time for your idle banter." I said as I turned from him and went toward the door of the car to leave.  
"Well, there was no point in being so rude to one of your own house Nichole, you should be worrying about Potter and his friends, but I see that you've become quite friendly with them since your return" Draco said with a smirk as he closed the door the car behind me as I left.  
I was so irritated with that little brat that I could have killed him if his father, Lucius, wouldn't have me killed for even trying such a thing.  
When I got back to my car, my nerves were on edge, and I decided that I needed a relaxing nap on the way to the school, and so I slept the rest of the way there.  
  
"All students off of the train please, in an orderly manner!" The voice shattered my dreams and roused me from my sleep.  
Quickly smoothing out my hair and robes I got in line to get off of the train, still a bit groggy from my nap.  
Hagrid, the grounds keeper, helped me off of the train with a light nod and a smile as I walked over to the lake and stepped onto one of the boats, taking my place as a prefect, helping the first years onto the boat.  
Most of them looked nervous or scared, but I calmed them easily enough. It seemed that they had been told there was a giant monster residing in the lake, in truth there was, but they wouldn't need to know that right now, they would be told in their third year.  
With a nod from all the prefects, the boats started across the lake toward the castle, and I was almost trembling with anticipation to be inside.  
I knew what awaited us once there, and I was ready for it all, even the N.E.W.T.S. that must be taken at the end of the term, I could have cared less.  
When we reached the other side of the lake, I helped the first years off the boat and then led them into the castle where I left them with the other first years as the rest of us went to the Great Hall.  
It was just as I had remembered it, only even more wonderful than a memory, and a smile lit up my face as I glanced around. I was the last person to enter the room and all eyes had turned to me for the moment.  
Headmaster Dumbledore stood from his chair and raised his glass to me before taking his seat once again. Most of the other teachers nodded to me as I walked gracefully toward my table of Slytherin's.  
I did notice, however, that one teacher had done nothing but stare at me, it was our own Head of House, Professor Snape.  
He was a tall man with shoulder length black hair, deep hazel eyes, smooth sallow skin, and a thick velvety voice that could strike fear into even the bravest of wizards.  
A shudder ran through me as I took my seat at the head of the Slytherin table, gaining a chorus of welcome back's and other good wishes.  
My only problem with the seating is that I was facing Professor Snape whenever I looked up from the table, and I could feel his eyes burning into me. I know I had been trouble my first year at Hogwarts, but I could have sworn that the man hated me beyond all reasoning possible.  
Before I could think on the subject anymore, Professor McGonagall led the first years into the Great Hall. I could hear them gasping as they glanced around, much like I had done in my first year at Hogwarts.  
Many of them were gazing at the ceiling that was enchanted to look like the night sky, but it was only an illusion. Anyone would have known that if they had read the book Hogwarts: A History.  
We all sat quietly as McGonagall explained the Sorting Ceremony to the first years, who were a bit more relaxed now.  
As the ceremony took place, I joined in with the cheering as we gained new members, but all the while, I could still feel Professor Snape's eyes on me. And every time I looked in his direction, my suspicions were confirmed, he'd hardly taken his eyes off me since I arrived.  
Turning back to watch the remainder of the students get sorted, I noticed another teacher watching me, I knew him by name of course, he was Professor Remus Lupin.  
With a light smile from him, he slightly inclined his glass toward me and nodded his head before taking a drink of what I know was wine.  
I smiled softly and nodded in return before joining in the last of Slytherin's cheering, still gazing at Professor Lupin since he was still looking at me.  
Headmaster Dumbledore broke all of our staring as he rose to his feet and held up his glass, "Welcome to Hogwarts all of you, I am sure that you all must be hungry, but there are a few things I wish to say before we begin to eat."  
He looked directly at me and smiled, "First off, I would like to say that it is wonderful to have Slytherin's headgirl and new Prefect back with us."  
Cheering and clapping went on as I turned a light shade of scarlet, keeping my head lowered until it was all over with.  
"Second of all, I have not gotten the chance to thank the member of this staff who saved her from certain death, and I wish to do that now, while she is here to thank them as well."  
Rising to my feet as instructed by his gesture, I walked gracefully toward the teacher's table, allowing my robes to flow along behind me as I walked. Once I reached the table, I gazed at all of the teachers, most of who were smiling at me happily.  
Dumbledore looked at me and then nodded, "As I have promised, you will now see who it was that saved your precious life two and a half years ago Miss Garrison."  
For a moment, nothing changed and then out of the corner of my eye, I saw Professor Snape rise to his feet and approach me.  
Headmaster Dumbledore smiled and continued, "Your Head of House, Professor Serverus Snape, is the one who saved your life that night."  
I was a bit shocked as I turned to the Professor, my cheeks a bit pink and my eyes undoubtedly widened with the revelation.  
"Miss Garrison...." He spoke in his silky voice, sending shivers down my spine as he did.  
"P-professor...I thank you....I am forever in your debt." I said softly as I lowered my head out of pure respect to the man.  
"Miss Garrison, I hardly think that words are enough to thank our dear professor for saving your life." Dumbledore spoke softly from the head of the table, and the other teachers nodded in agreement with him.  
Glancing up at Professor Snape, he looked about ready to run or strangle me, I hadn't figured out which one yet.  
With a light sigh, I stepped closer to him and then embraced him in a hug, which, amazingly, he returned.  
It was a sudden shock to me, the soft enticing scent of him mixed with the strength that lay in his arms that were now around me so tightly. I could hardly breathe as my face lay gently against the warm skin of his neck for a moment before the hug was broken.  
Every student looked shocked beyond words as I took a hasty step back from him, knowing that in my eyes, he could see what was not written on my face.  
After a few seconds of silence, the room erupted with cheering for the professor. He only nodded and then returned to his seat, I followed the example and returned to my seat as quickly as I could, avoiding all questions for the moment.  
"Now, without any further delays, let us feast." Dumbledore said as the food magically appeared on the tables like always.  
I sat quietly, only nibbling at my food since my mind was in such turmoil from what had happened moments ago.  
When in this life had I even become aware of the fact that Professor Snape was even remotely handsome. I didn't know the answer to that, but I did know that by some unknown force, I was greatly attracted to him in more ways than one.  
Supper was halfway through when I looked up and saw him staring at me again, and my breath caught in my throat as I held his gaze longer than necessary.  
It was Professor Lupin who broke our gazes as he waved his hand in front of Snape's face, causing the professor to smack at his hands before giving me one last look and turning to talk to Lupin.  
I was thankful for the interruption of the gaze because I had become a complete pile of nervousness and complete restlessness.  
By the time supper was over, I was ready to bolt for the door and hide in my room until tomorrow, but I had Prefect duties that were to be done first.  
Silently I led the Slytherin first years to the staircase and explained to them about it moving and about the floors that were off limits and such.  
Once arriving at the picture where the door to Slytherin common room was, I turned to them.  
"Now, all of you must remember what I am about to say, if you forget, you will not be able to gain entry to the common room."  
They all nodded to show that they understood as I turned back to the painting and the picture asked me for the password.  
"Estuans....." I spoke loudly to the picture to make sure it and the students heard me the first time.  
I could hear gasping as the picture swung open to reveal the common room, I stepped inside and waved the all inside, the picture closing after they had all made it into the room.  
"Now listen everyone. Your things have already been brought up and are in your rooms, girls as on the left, boys on the right. Both are up the stairs. Bathrooms are down the stairway and to the left or right. Prefects bathrooms are not to be used, as well as the teacher's bathrooms."  
I paused to let that sink in, waiting until they all nodded and had made sure they remembered all of what I had said.  
"After lights out, no student is to be out of bed or points will be taken away from Slytherin for it, and you will be given detention with Professor Snape. Do not use magic unless given permission, never be late for class, turn in all homework when it is due, and always pay attention to everything a teacher says. Now, off to bed!"  
Apparently my voice was enough to send them running and they did so, girls to the left and boys to the right. That only made my job easier now that I knew they at least feared me to some degree.  
"Very well done Miss Garrison, I see you have already established that you are the authority figure in this house." Came a deep, and dangerously icy voice from behind me.  
I whirled around, my wand in hand and ready to be used at my slightest word, and I found myself face to face with Professor Snape, the wand immediately falling out of my hand when I saw it was him.  
"Professor...I...I..." My mind could not find the words I needed to say to him, but he only smirked and picked my wand up, holding it out to me.  
Cautiously I reached out and took it from him, putting it back into the folds of my robe before I got into trouble.  
"You know better than to point your wand at a teacher..." He said dangerously as he circled me a few times.  
"Yes Sir, it will not happen again." I said as I tensed greatly while he circled me as a tiger would before it devoured its prey.  
"See that it does not, I would hate to deduct points from Slytherin because of the foolish actions of a prefect no less. We can't have you setting a bad example on these first years." He said mockingly as he stood before me and smirked at my obvious discomfort.  
"No Sir we cannot, I shall be about my business now....I must check the Slytherin floor tonight..." I said softly as I brushed past him and almost ran for the door.  
"Miss Garrison! I did not dismiss you!" His voice echoed in the room and I stopped in my tracks, turning to him.  
"Y-yes p-professor..?" I stammered as I glanced at him cautiously, hoping I wasn't about to get blasted of anything.  
"Do not let me catch you messing up anymore, is that clear?" He said quietly as he glared at me.  
"Perfectly clear sir....I will not mess up...." My voice was strained as I answered, his sudden outburst having scared me.  
"Good, I shall see you in class tomorrow, you will be helping me with the first years, I do hope you have been studying...dismissed!"  
I had no problem obeying that request as I fled the common room as fast as my legs would carry me.  
Once I was safely outside of the room, I let out a sigh of relief before walking to the end of the corridor to begin my nightly rounds.  
Being alone in the halls gave me time to think about everything that I could think of to think about, but I would much rather have been in my room writing in my journal about everything, but I could do that later.  
Finally eleven o'clock rolled around and it was time for me to go to bed, I could hardly wait as I hurried back toward the common room.  
Silently I entered after speaking the password, heading straight for my room on the lower level of the common room.  
Once I was in my room, I changed into a short silky nightgown with no straps and then slid into my bed, still sitting up.  
I took my hair down from its ponytail and brushed it out, it now stopping at my waist since it had grown out.  
With a light yawn, I slid down into the bed and then covered myself up, resting my head on the pillow before falling into a relaxed and peaceful sleep.  
I knew that tomorrow's classes would prove to be hard, if not very difficult since I had not been to Hogwarts in almost three long years...... 


	2. Feelings Emerge

"Miss Garrison, you are late again!" Professor Snape growled at me as I walked into the potions lab, this being only the second time I'd been late.

"I'm sorry Professor....but I had things that needed my immediate attention..." I said softly as I hurried up to the front of the class looking rather embarrassed.

"What, may I ask, is more important than arriving to class on time?" He asked rather icily as he glared at me.

"I had to take care of a feminine problem..." I said as quietly as I could, my face turning red with a blush as a few of the students snickered.

"Quiet!" He snapped at the students who had dared to make a noise in his classroom without his permission. "Detention for being late twice this semester, there is not excuse for it. Is that understood?" He asked as I looked back up at him.

"That isn't fair! Halloween is only a week away, and it's been months since I was late!" I protested before I could stop myself, and when I realized what I'd done, I gasped and quickly looked away.

"Miss Garrison! Your sharp tongue is going to be your downfall...twenty points from Slytherin for that mouth of yours!" He yelled as he pointed his want at the board where notes for a new potion appeared. All of the students immediately copied it down, most likely to avoid anymore wrath from the potions professor.

Personally I did not blame them for not wanting to provoke him, it seemed that I had done well of that this morning. Before he sat down again, he gave me a chilling look and then sat down at his desk with a stack of parchments to grade.

Not wanting to be near him, I walked around the room silently, inspecting the work of the students. Only a few times did I stop to say anything, and he always glanced at me when I did so. Once I stopped near the middle of the room where one of the first years was having trouble cutting up his mandrake root.

"No no Charles...its like this, let me see your hand." I said softly as he seemed to calm down once he saw it was me. Carefully guiding his hand in the proper manner, I showed him how to cut the root the way it should have been done.

"There now, you see? Just relax and you will be just fine." I said with a smile to him before lightly mussing up his hair. When I rose back to my full height, Snape's eyes were on me, but something in them was unreadable. Not wanting to hold that stare of his, I went back to my rounds of checking up on the first years to make sure they were all doing well.

As I made another round, I could see that some of them, well most of them actually, had completely forgotten to put in the spider's legs. I walked to the first desk and quietly explained the importance of proper procedures with potions and then showed them what they needed to do before continuing.

Once the first table had gotten it, their example seemed to show the rest what to do, and then all of the potions were starting to turn the proper green color, except for Charles's potion.

"Hmm...Charles, tell me exactly what you put into this potion, and what order it was placed in." I said as I walked to his desk, looking at the reddish potion with caution. He named off a few things in order and my eyes went wide as I dragged him away from his desk and started to take out my wand to clear up the mess, but I didn't have enough time to do that.

It was just like another Neville Longbottom incident, I was about to speak the spell when the cauldron exploded all over the desk the floor, and myself. The students at the other desks had moved so they were safe, but I knew in a moment that I was not safe at all. As soon as the liquid touched me I screamed and dropped my wand from my hands, crying hysterically to try and get the liquid off of me.

"Step aside! All of you back right now!" Professor Snape yelled as he ran out from behind his desk toward me. They parted and let him through to the place where I was still trying in vain to get the potion off of me.

"All of you get your things and go to Professor McGonagall's room and tell her what has happened. You are to stay there for the remainder of the class!" He growled to them before turning back to me and reaching out toward me with his wand in hand.

"Get I it off of me!" I yelled frantically, the pain of it was starting to make me dizzy and it was all I could do to stand on my feet. He uttered a spell that cleared the potion away from me and every other part of the room before he put his wand up. I had tears running down my cheeks as I tried to take a step toward the door to go to the hospital wing, but I didn't make it. My eyes slid shut and my body failed me, the intensity of the pain had caused me to pass out and I was about to hit the floor.

I don't remember much since I was out like a light, but Snape caught me and easily lifted me into his arms, but not without getting a few stares from the first years who'd never seen him act this way. He didn't say a word as he hurried down the halls with me in his arms, heading straight for the hospital wing.

"Oh my dear! What has happened to her Serverus!?" Madam Pomfrey asked urgently as he carried me inside the hospital wing.

"A potion exploded on her......it was almost a repeat of Neville Longbottom's first year..." He said grimly as she hurried him inside and showed him to a bed where I was to be placed.

"I need to know what was in that potion, this instant." She said as she turned to him with her hands on her hips. He listed off everything in the exact order that Charles had said to me and then crossed his arms.

"Oh dear....I have never met with a potion like this before, but perhaps you and I together can save her." She said as she went to her book to look up anything that was even remotely similar to the potion that had gotten on me.

When she left, his arms fell to his sides and he sat on the bed next to me with a sigh. If only I could have been awake to tell them the last ingredient to the potion, I knew it was the most vital part, but I could do nothing in my state. "It seems yet again that fate has reserved me the right to save your life...though I am not sure why it is only you that I end up saving." He said quietly as he looked down on me.

"Serverus! Stand over there while I change her out of these robes." Poppy said as she pushed him over to one side of the bed. I groaned in pain at the first movement of my clothing, it hurt to have it touched, much less moved. She was as careful as she could be with me, but there was no way to keep it from hurting because she needed the clothing to see if there was even an essence of the potion left on them. I was glad when it was finally finished, but now my whole body ached even more than it had in the first place.

Being as careful as she could not to irritate my skin anymore, she pulled a soft sheet up over me, leaving it resting just below my chest since that, and my face, was what had been the main places of the potion's contact with me.

"The poor child...I do hope we can find a cure for this soon. She looks in so much pain and I can't help her if I don't know what it was that did this to her."

"Perhaps I should call this to Dumbledore's attention?" Snape asked softly as he glanced at me once more.

"Bring what to my attention Serverus?" Dumbledore asked as he walked into the room.

"Charles McKinley's potion exploded on Miss Garrison, and we have no cure for whatever it was." Snape explained quietly.

"Oh my...yes yes that is a problem. Perhaps there was an ingredient you are missing?" The headmaster inquired as he looked over my wounds.

"If there was something more he told Miss Garrison, I did not hear it, but she may very well know what it is." Snape said as he glanced at me and then looked away.

"Is there any way that you can wake her up Poppy?" Dumbledore asked as he looked at Madam Pomfrey.

"I can try Albus, but no promises." She said softly as she went into the back room to brew a potion to try and wake me up.

"Serverus, don't fret over it so much....it wasn't your fault you know." I heard Dumbledore say to him.

"It may not have been my error that caused it, but I was not quicker in seeing what she saw with that potion." He replied quietly, actually sounding more than a little upset.

"Ah....so it seems...I think I know very well what is wrong with you Serverus." He said in response to Snape's former words.

"And what do you suspect is wrong with me, if I may ask." Snape said as he sat down in a chair next to my bedside.

"You can't hide it forever you know...I have seen the way you look at her during meal times. There are more who know your secret than just you and I Serverus." Dumbledore stated quietly.

"Perhaps I see more in her than just an annoying student, she has potential...there is nothing special behind that..." Snape said dangerously before standing and leaving the room.  
  
**October 29**  
Well, it seems that I had a lovely time in the hospital wing last week, but I am all caught up now. Thanks to Madam Pomfrey and her amazing potions, I was able to recover very quickly.  
Halloween is so close and I can hardly wait for all the fun we will have this year, I've missed the celebrations at Hogwarts, but this should prove most exciting!  
On another note, Potter and Weasley are up to no good again, but that isn't anything new.  
Another troll got into the school, and the first person they blamed was Professor Snape, but Remus....er...Professor Lupin, put a stop to that nonsense.  
He is a strange man, but I have grown to know him quite well since the beginning of school this year, and he is an extraordinary teacher as well.  
Not to mean anything by it, but Professor Lupin does look rather handsome sometimes you know.  
I know I haven't had much time to write these past few weeks, but that will be alright, nothing has gone on that has been worth recording anyway.  
  
This was just lovely I tell you, nothing ever wanted to go my way, and this was proof of it if I ever had any.  
I woke up late this morning and barely got into the showers and out of them before breakfast.  
Still to no avail, I was the last person to enter the Great Hall that morning, and worst of all, I was without my robes.  
That I had a solid excuse for, you see, the house elves hadn't finished washing them properly, and I couldn't wear the wet ones.  
I did feel a bit odd when I walked into the hall with only my skirt and blouse on, but I had to do it.  
Though the moment I stepped through the door, Professor Snape looked directly at me and almost spit out his drink.  
Professor Lupin leaned over to make sure he was okay before turning and looking to me, and then he gave me a smile and a nod.  
I smiled back to Remus as I always did and then trotted off to my seat, a few of the Slytherin's giving me strange looks.  
"Well, I see that you have decided to try a new hairstyle." My friend Rhiannon said jokingly.  
"I think it looks better when it is down, it makes her look older." Another friend of mine, Juliana, said in my defense.  
"It seems to have caught the eye of more than one person in this room I must say." Rhiannon stated as she indicated a few of the stares in my direction.  
I noticed that not only were the professors looking at me, but so was Draco Malfoy and Ron Weasley.  
"Perhaps I should put it up now..." I said uncomfortably as I squirmed in my seat.  
"No! Don't put it up Nikki, it looks wonderful really. Besides, you would use some affection from them, it couldn't hurt you know." Juliana said softly as she looked at me.  
"Nikki, don't look now, but I do think that our professor seems to be staring at you even more since the incident." Rhiannon said quietly.  
"Rhi! Don't you say such a thing, someone could hear you!" I whispered to her hurriedly.  
"Oh posh! Everyone already knows he at least fancies you. Its not like he tries to hide the way he looks at you all the time." She stated as she took a bite of her oatmeal.  
I blushed at least ten shades of red before fleeing my seat and the Great Hall as quickly as I possibly could.  
When I finally stopped running, I was standing outside near the courtyard, the wind blowing a chilling breeze around me.  
"I never would have thought it of you Nichole." Came Draco's voice from behind me.  
I whirled around, wand drawn and ready to blow his little head off if he gave me good enough a reason.  
"Wouldn't have thought what of me Malfoy?" I asked in a rather dangerous tone of voice.  
"Sleeping with a professor just to get your grades back up after being gone so long. Its against the rules you know." He said with a smirk in my direction.  
"What!? That is absurd! Who would I be sleeping with then hm?" I shot back at him with more bite than was necessary.  
"Who indeed, you know who. Professor Snape, and perhaps maybe even Lupin." He said with a laugh.  
I gasped and almost dropped my wand, now I could see what my friends had been talking about, it was plain to anyone who looked that something was going on.  
True nothing had ever passed between us, but the looks we gave each other spoke a different story, and not one that would benefit either of us.  
"That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard Malfoy! I do not sleep with anyone, much less a professor!" I shouted as I readied my wand, I didn't care about getting into trouble anymore.  
"Stupid it may be, but is it true?" He asked as he readied his wand, a smirk on his evil little face.  
"It is no truth of mine Malfoy! I am tired of your attitude!" I yelled as I narrowed my eyes and then sent him flying backward into the wall.  
"Stop this at once! Fifty points from Slytherin for each of you, and detention in my office immediately after classes!" Professor Snape yelled as he took both of our wands away.  
"Yes Professor...." I mumbled as I went back into the school and into McGonagall's Transfiguration class.  
After sitting through two herbology classes and one transfiguration class, it was time for me to go to potions class for the day, and I was dreading that.  
The moment I entered the classroom, I could tell I was in major trouble because my usual seat in the back was now filled, and one was open in the front.  
Just great, getting put up front was not my idea of a great time, especially since I was closer to Professor Snape.  
I didn't argue or say anything as I made my way to the front of the class, hearing students whispering about my fight with Malfoy.  
"Silence! I will not have any of this idle banter in my class, now pay attention!" Snape snapped at them as I took my seat silently.  
The class went by silently for me, of course I was lost in my own thoughts at the moment.  
"Miss Garrison....please pay attention..." I heard Snape say to me as I snapped out of my daydream.  
"I'm sorry Sir, but the answer is two pinches of powdered bat wings......." I said softly so as not to upset him for not knowing the answer.  
He looked rather shocked that I had answered something, and then it occurred to me that he had not asked the question yet and I blushed.  
"Thank you for answering that....even if it wasn't asked..." He said softly, still looking quite shocked to know that I had known what he was going to ask.  
I got a few strange looks before everyone went back to their own work, but I couldn't concentrate on working at the moment.  
All I could think about was what Draco had said to me about Professor Snape, it was completely absurd to believe that, but a part of me wanted to have been able to say that it was what was going on between us.  
Okay, whoa, back up major here, that did not just enter my mind at all, forget that ever happened.  
But that wasn't what my mind wanted to do, and my eyes wandered over to his desk where he sat grading parchments.  
It was a usual task, but at the moment, it was taking all of my will power not to jump up and run to him. I'd never felt this out of control before and it was beginning to scare me a little bit.  
He was my teacher, as well as my head of house; there could never be anything between us no matter what.  
After what seemed like an eternity of sitting through the class, it was almost time to go on to our last class before suppertime rolled around.  
I had gathered up my things to get ready to leave just like the rest of the students in the class as Professor Snape looked up at us.  
"Class is dismissed, term papers will be due next Monday, five pages! Miss Garrison, you will stay after class!"  
I cringed at his tone of voice, staying in my seat until the rest of the student's had gone from the room.  
"Yes professor...?" I asked softly as I stood from my seat and went to his desk, looking down at my feet.  
"I am very upset with your behavior these past few weeks, you have not been yourself." He said as he stood from his chair, now towering over me.  
I could feel my cheeks become red at thinking about him, and being alone with him wasn't helping me at all.  
He started toward me and I stepped back slowly with each advance he made until my back was against the wall. I gasped and looked up at him, his hands resting on the wall next to each side of my head. My heart was pounding in my chest as he leaned down close to me, his lips only barely brushing against mine before Draco Malfoy walked into the room.  
"Professor I came here to.....I knew it...." He said with a smirk as he crossed his arms over his chest.  
"You knew what Malfoy!?" Snape yelled as he whirled around and faced the younger Slytherin boy.  
"She's been sleeping her way into good grades with you hasn't she?" HE asked with a light laugh.  
"She most certainly has not, fifty points from Slytherin for that comment!" Snape yelled as he started to approach Draco.  
I couldn't bear to stay any longer as I turned and ran from the room as fast as I could, not stopping until I was hidden away safely in my room.


	3. Long Talks With Remus Lupin

**December 16**  
My writing seems to be put on hold, but I hope to change that, for I have so much to tell that I fear I may never be through writing, but I shall strive to get it all straight.  
That day in the potions room when Professor Snape kissed me, it was amazing and horrifying at the same time.  
Ever since that day, I have avoided him as much as a person can hope to avoid a teacher that they must see daily.  
Malfoy hasn't told a soul, most likely because the professor used a memory charm on him to make him forget it all.  
After that one encounter, I haven't been in very much contact with anyone, which seemed to have upset the headmaster because he sent me into the infirmary a few days ago.  
While I was in there being questioned, poked, and prodded I was visited by Remus, who has become a very good friend.  
  
_**Flashback**  
Stupid hospital bed, stupid people, why can't they all just leave me alone for once in their lives.  
I was busy ranting to myself about that when I saw Remus approach my bed with a bouquet of flowers and I smiled to him.  
"Hello Remus, it is good to see you again" I said quietly so Madam Pomfrey wouldn't get onto me for not properly addressing him.  
"I am glad to see you as well, are you doing alright? No injuries?" He asked jokingly before sitting down on the edge of the bed, sitting the flowers down on the table next to me.  
"I am feeling just fine, and I'm not injured at all Remus." I said with a light laugh in my voice as I sighed and looked up at him.  
"I must wonder then, why you were sent here to the infirmary?" He said softly as he glanced down at me.  
"Well...there was an incident....and after it...I didn't really want to be around anyone...you know?" My voice was kept low so that only he would hear, hoping that he wouldn't ask for a further explanation.  
"An incident....ah, I see. It must have been an incident involving Professor Snape, am I right?" He inquired, halfway knowing that he was right.  
I merely nodded to him in response to his question, it always seemed that he knew exactly what was wrong with me, but that was most likely because we spent so much time together.  
"Would you please elaborate for me? I understand that it was a major incident, but as your friend, I should like to know more about it." He said as he turned more toward me so he could listen well.  
"I would be happy to if you can get me out of here....I've been here for days, and there is nothing wrong with me." I said with smirk, he'd taught me way too much for my own good and he knew it.  
"Alright, I'll get Madam Pomfrey to let you out, but then you must tell me of this incident." He said with a hint of laughter in his voice as he stood up and walked into Madam Pomfrey's office.  
"Poppy, I wanted to ask you to do something for me if you would." Remus said to her as she looked up from her book of potions.  
"What can I do for you Remus?" She asked cheerily as she stood up from her desk and moved around the room, putting potions together for her stock.  
"It seems that nothing is wrong with Miss Garrison, so I would like to ask that you release her into my care." He said as he watched her work about her room.  
"Oh fine Remus, but if she becomes ill, bring her back to me straight away." She said as she ushered him out of her office.  
I watched as Remus walked back to me and smiled softly as he nodded, "You are free to go now, and so we shall go back to my quarters and talk."  
"Thank you Remus." I said as I waved my wand and changed my clothes from the hospital gown to my regular robes before getting out of the bed.  
We walked down the hall arm in arm, talking and laughing quietly as we always did.  
In the shadows, neither of us noticed that Professor Snape had just walked out of his room, and he did not look happy to see us walking together.  
Once we were in Remus's room, I walked over and sat on the couch, taking my shoes off before pulling my feet up onto it as well.  
"Would you care for some tea Nichole?" He asked as he walked into his little kitchen area.  
"Oh, yes please, it is much better than having to drink pumpkin juice all the time." I said with a light laugh, not knowing that Professor Snape was listening to us outside the door.  
Remus fixed some tea and then brought it over to the couch, handing me a cup before taking his seat next to me.  
"So, now that I have gotten you out of the hospital wing, we have a deal. I would very much like to know about your little incident." He said as he sipped his tea.  
"Well, that day I was late for your class, Professor Snape asked me to stay after potions class. I thought I might have been in trouble, and I think I was sort of in trouble. He told me that he was disappointed in my behavior over the past few weeks, and that I hadn't been acting like myself."  
Remus nodded and took another sip of his tea before glancing back at me, letting me know that he wanted me to continue.  
"He stood from his chair and walked toward me, but I kept backing up until my back was against the wall. Then he put his hands on either side of my head and leaned down....and he kissed me Remus...he kissed me." I said softly as I blushed a deep red color.  
He chuckled and put his tea down on the table then slid his arm around my shoulders and gave me a gentle hug.  
"That is wonderful news Nichole! I knew that you had an effect on him, and he has changed for the better you know." Remus stated as he looked at me.  
"But he is a teacher Remus...it could never work between us and you know it as well as I do." I said softly as I put my tea down on the table and leaned into his arms.  
"Shhh, don't cry Nichole, please. He would not want to see you crying like this, not on his behalf." Remus said as he stroked my hair gently.  
"I can't help it Remus....I feel something for him, but....it is not to be...." I choked out as I cried into his chest.  
Outside the door, Professor Snape had been a bit shocked to hear that I had wanted things between us to work.  
He waited a few moments before knocking on the door of Remus's room, folding his arms over his chest.  
"I'll be right back Nichole, finish up your tea." Remus said as he stood up from the couch and walked toward the door.  
I picked up my cup of tea and sipped the warm liquid slowly; the tearstains were plain to see on my face.  
Upon opening the door, Remus looked a bit shocked to see Snape standing there, but he stepped back and let him inside the room.  
My eyes widened as Snape walked into the room, and I ended up dropping the tea in my lap.  
"Ah! Shit, that burns!" I screamed as I jumped up from the couch and stripped my skirt off before I knew what I'd done.  
Both men in the room went wide-eyed before Remus hurried over and ushered me into his room, using his wand to remove the liquid from my clothes before handing me my skirt and closing the door.  
"Do get dressed Nichole, and try to be a little more careful before trying to strip down in someone's living room." He said with a light laugh before turning to Snape.  
Professor Snape's face was light red and his mouth was hanging open as Remus turned to him.  
"Serverus...are you alright my friend?" Remus asked as he waved a hand in front of Snape's face.  
Snapping out of his daze, Snape swatted his hands away before growling at him, "I am fine you fool of a man..." He grumbled before turning and walking toward the door.  
I came out fully dressed before he got to the door, "Professor wait!" I yelled as I ran over to him.  
He turned and then looked at me with a bit of confusion on his face, "What is it Miss Garrison?"  
For a moment I hesitated and then I glanced to Remus who gave me a nod, and with his encouragement I smiled and turned back to Snape. He looked a bit puzzled and then I leaned up and kissed him fully on the mouth, shocking both him and myself.  
Remus only chuckled and shook his head as he watched Snape gently pushed me back from him.  
"I...I'm sorry professor..." I stammered as he looked down at me, I couldn't tell if he was mad or just shocked beyond all reason.  
"Don't be sorry for it Nichole....don't ever be sorry for it." He said before kissing me softly, then leaving the room.  
When I opened my eyes again he was gone, but I could still fell his kiss and his hands on my shoulders.  
"Well, it seems that neither of you have a problem showing affection toward the other now does it?" Remus joked as he walked to me and gave me a light hug around the shoulders.  
"Oh Remus, its not a joke." I stated as I gently punched him in the arm for his joking around with me.  
He laughed and then shook his head a few times before crossing his arms over his chest, "Ah go on back to class now Nichole, if you truly wish for this love of yours to last, then I will talk with Serverus and the Headmaster."  
I thought for a moment and then sighed, running my fingers through my hair a few times, "Alright, but you knew I was going to say yes Remus....we'll talk again later on, thank you my friend."  
I walked from the room and then closed the door, leaning against it for a few moments before heading back to classes for the day.  
_  
I guess it was easy to see that things in my life hand changed, and everyone in the school could tell that things were different now. Remus was always there for me when I needed him, and he also managed to talk to Headmaster Dumbledore about the situation. Lets just say that I'm supposed to be at a meeting in fifteen minutes, so I guess I'm going to go so I won't be late for it. I shall write more later.  
  
With a light sigh, I gathered up my strength and then stepped into Dumbledore's office where Remus and Serverus were already seated at the table with him.  
I immediately felt out of place and scared, but Remus caught the look on my face and hurried over to me, sliding his arm around my shoulders.  
"Nichole, its alright, I'll be right here with you through it all, just like I have been since I met you." He said softly as he guided me to a seat next to him.  
I sat down next to him and risked a glance in Serverus's direction, but his face was completely unreadable.  
Dumbledore cleared his throat and then looked at me, "Nichole, I have spoken with Remus a few times about your situation, and he has made a few points very clear to me."  
Without saying anything, I just nodded to him, really unsure of what I was supposed to say. I mean, I was just a student who was completely and fully in love with a teacher who loved me back.  
"Don't be afraid to speak dear girl, I would like to know your feelings on this situation." Dumbledore said softly as he smiled to me.  
"Yes sir....well, you see. I did not think that I would be able to have these feelings, but Remus encouraged me to live them instead of pushing them aside, and I am sorry if it has caused any problems...." I said softly, a light blush rising on my cheeks.  
"No, no, its quite alright, love is a very powerful thing that should not be cast aside for any reason, though it is a risky situation in this case." He said as he glanced from me to Professor Snape.  
"Sir, if I may say something. I think it would be best for them to have some private interaction, but that it be conducted in a controlled situation." Remus said from beside me as he looked at Dumbledore.  
"Yes, Remus, do continue with this plan of yours, I would very much like to hear the rest, as it may very well work." Dumbledore responded as Remus finished.  
"I think that they will be good for each other, and that they can make this work between them, but as the rules stand, things must be discreet for the time being, at least until she is no longer a part of the student body." Remus said as he finished up his plan on how to keep us together.  
Dumbledore nodded and then looked to me, "And what do you think of this plan Nichole?"  
"I think that it is a very good idea Sir, that is, if Ser...I mean, Professor Snape agrees to it." I said as I looked at him, clearly blushing from the whole talk of our relationship to be.  
"Please, no formalities in this situation, only in the classroom Nichole. As for this plan, I do think that things should be kept to a minimum. Then after you leave Hogwarts, if our feelings are still mutual, then perhaps things can progress." He said as he looked at me and then at Remus and Dumbledore, and I could tell that things with the next semester of school would be a bit easier. At least I hoped they would be. 


	4. Side Notes Again, Gomen

**A/N: **

Ok, first off, sorry for the whole Snape being out of character, but he's about to go back into character quick like cause I got an idea from a friend of mine. Don't worry people, there will still be some Snape action later on, I promise! Oh, there is also a bit of Draco/Nicholeness because of a potion gone wrong. Another thing, I don't own anything except the few people that I've placed into the story that came from my mind, so please don't take them no matter how small and insignificant they are. Thanks and _PLEASE R&R! _


	5. Christmas Blues

**Flashback**  
  
_ Finally, the winter holidays when Hogwarts would be all but empty, and I would have time to myself for once.  
Everyone had just left on the train to go back home for the holidays except me and a few other people, maybe five at most. The halls and classes were silent for once, and it seemed a bit lonely without everyone here.  
But now was not the time to think on that, I had things that I wanted to do by myself for once.  
The first thing on my to-do list was to go ice skating out on the lake now that it was frozen over, and I had new skates too.  
I sat down on my bed and slid on my socks and then put my shoes on, picking up my skates before heading down to the common room.  
"Miss Garrison!" I cringed at the harshness of Professor Snape's voice as I set foot in the common room; I was most likely in trouble.  
"Yes Professor?" I asked as I walked over to where he stood next to the fireplace, leaning on the side of it.  
"I do not know what you have done in the past, but I will not tolerate another one of these pranks! Do you understand!?" He snapped as he turned and looked down at me, his eyes narrowed.  
"W-what pranks Sir?" I said, almost in complete and utter disbelief, I hadn't done anything to him.  
He held up a small vial in his hand and then pushed it into my gloved one, "See for yourself."  
I looked at the bottle and then it went crashing to the floor as it slipped out of my hands, tears coming to my eyes.  
On the bottle was a label that read, "Love Potion" and I knew right away why he'd been acting so strangely the past few months. Someone had brewed a love potion and had used it on Snape so he would fall in love with me.  
At that moment, my world seemed to almost fall apart as I ran from the common room with tears stinging my eyes.  
Thoughts of ice-skating left my mind as I tried to think of someone I could turn to, and then I thought of Remus. He was my dear friend and I could depend on him to help me through all of this like he always did.  
And so I ran toward the stairs, going down them as quickly as possible to get to Remus's room.  
Once I reached the door, I knocked on it a few times and tried to compose myself, but the moment he opened the door, I fell into his arms and cried. I guess it kind of shocked him for a moment but then he just lifted me up, closed the door, and then walked over and sat us down on the couch.  
"Its alright Nikki....whatever is wrong, I will help you through it like I always have." He said softly as he stroked my hair and continued to let me cry.  
When I was finally able to stop crying, I looked up at him and then leaned in and gave him a hug.  
He returned the hug and then handed me another tissue before offering a soft smile and a warm cup of tea. Gosh, this man is obsessed with his tea I tell you, I think it's all he ever drinks, but back on the subject.  
"Now that your not hyperventilating on me, would you care to tell me why you came to me and then burst into tears the moment I saw you?" He asked softly as he placed his hand on my shoulder, he was more like a father these days.  
"Well, I was going to go ice-skating and when I went down to the common room, he yelled at me and then showed me a bottle that used to have a love potion of the strongest kind in it, and he got mad at me but I didn't do it and I think he hates me now Remus!" I spat out before fresh tears started to form in my eyes from the memory of the argument.  
"Shh...don't cry again, you are too pretty to go around crying like this Nikki. Now, let me see if I can understand this. Serverus thinks that you brewed a potion to make him fall in love with you, correct?" He said before handing me another tissue as I tossed the used one in the trashcan next to me.  
I nodded and then wiped my eyes before taking a drink of the warm tea he had fixed me, "I never brewed that potion Remus....I don't want him to hate me..."  
He nodded and then stroked my hair and offered his usual friendly and comforting smile, "He won't be, so worry not over this. I will talk to him and explain things properly to him."  
"Thank you Remus....you are the best friend anyone could ever ask for....and I thank you for being my friend." I said softly as I finished up my tea and then yawned, it was rather late now and I was extremely tired.  
"Perhaps you should lie down for a while and rest, you've been through a lot of emotional things today. I'll leave and make sure you aren't disturbed." Remus said as he stood up from the couch and then placed a feather pillow at one end.  
"Again I thank you, you are truly the best friend that I've ever had." I said softly as I laid my head down on the pillow and closed my eyes, sleep beckoning me the moment my head touched the softness of the pillow.  
Remus smiled and then knelt down and pulled a blanket over me, placing a light kiss to my forehead before standing back up again.  
He left the room to go on to supper, and I assumed that he would tell the other teachers that I was under some emotional stress and wished to rest until tomorrow.  
Hoping he wouldn't mind, I managed to get up from the couch and shed my heavy robes before moving over to his bed and turning down the blankets there.  
I took my shoes off and sat them neatly beside the bed before sliding into the crisp, cool sheets of Remus's bed. The couch was comfortable, but not enough to allow me to sleep properly.  
A yawn escaped me before I finally settled down and drifted off to sleep, inhaling the soothing scent of jasmine mingled with lavender that I had come to link Remus to.  
Upon entering the hall, Headmaster Dumbledore looked up at Remus and smiled a bit, "I trust all is well Lupin?"  
"Yes sir, but Nichole needed someone to talk to about her problems and she is now resting. I must say, this day has been very trying for her." He said before glancing at Snape with a warning look.  
Snape just frowned and went back to his dinner as Remus took his usual place beside the Potions Master.  
The other teachers were talking among themselves as Remus leaned over toward Snape, "You will leave that girl alone or you will deal with me personally Serverus. She has been through so much in her life and she cannot handle everything that is pressed on her right now."  
The professor growled low and looked over at Remus, "That girl is nothing but a thorn in my side. She tried to make me fall in love with her by using magic, I will not tolerate it Lupin...."  
Remus merely smirked as he took a sip of his tea, "No Serverus, she did not use the potion, nor did she make it. It was store bought, already made. And I was the one who used it on you, not her."  
With a glare, Snape leaned over and spoke dangerously, "Meet me out in the hall, I would like to have a word with you Lupin." He growled as he stood up from his chair, black robes billowing gracefully as he walked out of the Main Hall.  
Following Snape out, Remus excused himself and exited the room, closing the door behind him, "What is it Serverus?"  
"Why would you do that?" He bit out at Lupin as he turned and glared at him, obviously he was extremely upset with the whole mess.  
"You liked that girl from the moment she came back to this school and you know it, but you would never willingly admit your feelings for her." Remus said simply as he looked at his watch.  
"I have no feelings for that girl whatsoever, and I will not be made a fool of!" Snape yelled as he struggled to control his raging temper.  
"Be quiet Serverus, you'll wake her up...." Remus said softly as he nodded to the door of his room they were now standing next to.  
"You left a student, a female student, in your room?" Snape asked, almost shocked at the revelation.  
"Yes, and she is my friend, almost like a daughter to me." He said coolly as he fixed his robes and then started toward the door.  
Snape followed behind him closely, watching his every move until they were both at the door.  
"Serverus, if you enter, you will not raise your voice or wake her, I will not hear of it." Remus said dangerously as he glared at Snape before pushing the door open silently.  
Remus looked over at the bed and smiled softly before going over and sitting down next to me, brushing the hair out of my face.  
Snape closed the door quietly and then crossed his arms and glared at Lupin, keeping his voice low, "What the hell are you doing...?"  
"Its called comforting someone and look how red and swollen her eyes are from crying." He said softly as he motioned Snape over.  
With a sigh of agitation, Snape walked over to the bed and looked down at my sleeping form, noting the redness of my eyes.  
"She looks horrible Remus, perhaps you should take her to Madam Pomfrey for another checkup." He said quietly before smirking as usual.  
"Nothing in Poppy's book can cure a broken hearted young woman Serverus!" Remus said icily as he stood up from the bed and glared at the other professor, "What you accused her of, and what you did these past few months have confused, angered, and broken her heart, do you understand that!?"  
Snape was a bit shocked that Lupin could be so protective, but at the moment he didn't want to find out what anger did to Lupin.  
"And just what am I supposed to do about it?" He asked as he crossed his arms over his chest and looked at Lupin, "And as for this relationship that I am supposed to be in with her, it will not be so."  
"Then you have just hurt her more than any physical wound could ever hurt, a broken heart never fully heals Serverus...." Lupin said as he sat back down next to me and stroked my hair.  
"I am sorry my dear friend....I did everything I could do for you." Lupin said softly as he leaned down and hugged me, pressing a soft kiss to my cheek before standing up.  
When he looked at Snape he frowned at the look on the other man's face and wondered what was wrong now.  
Snape was glaring dangerously at Lupin and his fists were now clenched by his side as if he were ready to kill him.  
"What is the matter with you now Serverus, are you ever pleased with anything?" He asked, sounding exasperated.  
Without a word, Snape turned and left the room in a haze of anger, and when he was gone, Lupin smirked.  
He had known that there were still feelings there, but he had wanted to make sure, and that kiss had sure sent Snape over the edge with jealousy.   
_  
That was what I remember most from the holiday at Hogwarts, but now its so close to time for the year to be over and I'm not sure I want to leave for the summer.  
Between studying and classes, I haven't had time to even think straight lately, and I was kind of thankful for it.  
Things between Professor Snape and me had only gotten worse after the night I fell asleep in Remus's room, but there was nothing I could do about it.  
With things between us at a sudden halt, I never spoke to him unless I needed to, and I never saw him very much.  
I was beginning to think that he really did hate me after all, but if he did then so be it, I had at least tried to speak with him once or twice.  
With a light sigh, I went back to working on my Charms study notes, hoping to be able to take my mind off of Professor Snape and put them back on the N.E.W.T. exams that were coming up very soon.  
Rhiannon must have heard me sigh, because she looked up at me and frowned, "Nikki, come on, get your head out of the clouds and concentrate on your work before you end up failing the exams." She said softly before going back to her own work.  
Looking down at my parchment, I realized I was already finished and then I pushed my books aside and sat up on the bed.  
I slid my shoes on my feet and then left the room without my robes, needing desperately to go for a walk and be alone for a little while.  
The other students were all studying, but I couldn't study anymore, I had too many things running through my head to try and study.  
Once I was outside, I took a deep breath of the clean air that surrounded me and then I walked toward the lake as the wind blew around me a few times, sending my hair billowing in different directions.  
For once I felt truly happy just to be alone, but that was most likely because I enjoyed being in nature more than I did being inside some room or building.  
My happiness didn't last long though, because Draco Malfoy appeared on the scene and my whole day seemed to go down the drain.  
He was one person I could not stand; he had always been mean to me and had always thought himself better than me for some reason.  
"Well, fancy seeing you out here when you should be studying for the finals you have next week." He said with a smirk as he walked up to my side, towering over me for once.  
I frowned and then moved away from him, sitting down beneath a nice sized oak tree, leaning my back up against it as I closed my eyes, "Go away Malfoy..."  
"That is no way to treat someone who just came to talk to you." He said with a chuckle before kneeling in front of me.  
With a sigh, I opened my eyes to yell at him, but no sooner than my lips had parted to speak, his mouth covered mine.  
My eyes went wide with shock that he would have even attempted to do something like this, and I didn't like it one bit.  
He must have saw my hand coming at him, because he grabbed it with one of his hands and then did the same to the other one.  
I narrowed my eyes and tried to fight him off, but he just stretched my hands above my head and then held me down with his body, "Malfoy, I will have you suspended for this!"  
Draco only laughed and then shook his head, "Wrong again, because you have no witnesses of anything."  
I knew he was right, and no matter what I said, without proper proof, I could do nothing, and that made me sick to my stomach.  
His mouth covered mine again, only this time I tried to turn away, but I stopped quickly because he bit my lip hard enough to make it bleed, and a tear rolled down my cheek.  
This was not how I wanted things to be, but it seemed as if no one would be able to come to my rescue, and I had almost accepted that fate when I felt his hand dip under my skirt.  
But as suddenly as he had touched me, I felt his weight being lifted off of me and I immediately curled into a ball to protect myself.  
"Lupin...take him back to the school and speak with Dumbledore about this incident. I will take care of her, but do not let that boy get away with this!" I heard Professor Snape growl out to Remus before he turned his attention back to me.  
He knelt down next to me and gently touched my shoulder, and when I didn't flinch or cry out, he carefully pulled me to him.  
The tears came to my eyes, but I would not let him see me break down no matter what.  
As gently as he could, he lifted me into his arms and then started back toward the school, taking the secret entrance into the building so that no one would bother with questions.  
He took me to Remus's room and then sat down on the couch with me in his arms must like Remus had done.  
That did it for me and I turned my face into his chest as the tears came in long body racking sobs.  
"That's is....just cry it out....you did not deserve for this to happen to you...." I heard him whisper softly against my ear as he pulled me closer to him and let me cry.  
I'm not sure how long I cried in his arms, but he held me the entire time, speaking soothing words when he felt I needed them  
My mind wondered how he could be so gentle with me if he hated me, and I came to the conclusion that he did care deep down.  
After that ordeal was over with, it was time to the exams that everyone had been dreading, and I had no time at all to thank him for his help.  
I wished that I'd had the chance to talk to him as I stepped onto the train the day after my last exam.  
"Wait! Hold the train!" Remus yelled as he pushed his way onto the train and then looked straight at me.  
I stood up and looked at him before rushing to his side, "Remus....what is it?"  
He pulled me off of the train and then got my things out of the baggage car and handed them to Hagrid before he turned back to me, "You are not going back to the muggle world....you can stay here with me."  
"Remus...I should really go back...my parents will be worried you know.." I said softly as I looked up at him and smiled.  
"No they won't Nichole...because they are not your parents....now please with me.." He said as gently as he could before leading me back to the castle.  
Once all was explained, I did feel a little bit better, but I didn't know what to do about my home and all of my things.  
Remus set my mind at ease when he took me to his room, and in the corner sat the things I treasured most from the muggle world.  
With a hug, I thanked him for being so kind to me all these years, and he only smiled and hugged me back.  
"Thank you Remus....you have no idea how much this means to me...." I said softly before sitting down on the bed in the room.  
It was already getting dark outside, and I was extremely tired once again, and I was assuming that Remus could tell that I was tired.  
He helped me mind my clothes and then I changed into my silk night gown, brushing my hair and my teeth in the bathroom before walking back out and sitting on the bed next to him.  
I laughed lightly to see him in a pair of purple pajama pants, and he only rolled his eyes and went to get himself some tea.  
"Good night Remus..." I said softly as I slid beneath the covers on the bed and closed my eyes.  
"Good night my child, do sleep well." He replied as he fixed himself a cup of tea, sipping it slowly before coming to bed.  
I felt the bed move as he moved in beside me and then he stopped moving for a moment to remove his glasses he used for reading.  
With a light yawn, I turned to him and then snuggled up to his chest the way I had when I was a child.  
He turned his head and blew out the candle before sliding his arms around me like the overprotective father type would do for his only daughter.  
Then it occurred to me that perhaps I thought of him as a father, and I hugged him tightly to me as I fell asleep with that comforting thought. 


	6. Summer At Hogwarts Part 1

**June 19**  
Alright, so sue me for not writing anything down again, but as you can see in my life story, things have a tendency to go wrong for me all the time.  
That thing with Draco was downright scary, and I hope I never have to feel like that again.  
I heard that Dumbledore didn't expel him, but he did send him home and let him do his work by owl.  
That thought made things a little easier for me as finals finally got around to us, and boy was I glad to have Remus by my side.  
He had helped me a lot after the whole attack as everyone had called it, and I knew that I had aced all of my finals because of his dedication to helping me study for everything.  
Oh! I almost forgot about Professor Snape! Now I can't be doing any of that anytime soon you know.  
When he let me cry on him for hours about Draco, he never once asked me to stop or to act my age.  
It felt kind of good to let him hold me while I cried it all out of my system, but I wasn't about to tell him that.  
And as I said before, I didn't have time to thank him while finals were going on, but now it seems as if I will be staying at the school with Remus.  
Did I mention that this man had an obsession with tea, because if I didn't I warn you that he hasn't offered me anything but tea since I've been here!  
Thank goodness I have to go to Diagon Alley later on today, I fully intend to find something to drink besides tea and pumpkin juice.  
Of course, Remus thinks that it is quite funny that I have stuck myself with drinking water most of the time, but I can't help but love the man.  
We have had loads of fun already, and school hasn't been out for very long you know, but he has been the best.  
I'll have to recount the day at the lake, and that one day we went for a picnic, I'm sure you will find it quite humorous.  
Though, before I do, I just wanted to remind you that I am stuck here at Hogwarts for a whole summer, alone, with only four teachers here.  
The four that are here are of course Remus, Snape, Dumbledore, and Madam Pomfrey, though I'm not sure she classifies as a teacher...oh well.  
Alright, I know you are just dying to know what happened on my outings with Professor Remus Lupin, so I shall reveal all to you!  
  
**Flashback**  
_"Nichole, would you please stop running and come here!" I heard Remus yell with a light laugh in his voice as he chased me around the castle.  
"You've got to catch me first Remus!" I yelled back over my shoulder as I rounded a corner and hid in the shadows.  
He came around the corner and then stopped and sniffed the air, oh goodness, I forgot he was a werewolf.  
I shook my head and then I looked and he was gone, with a frown I thought to step out from my hiding place and find him when all of a sudden he grabbed me around the waist.  
"Ahh!" My scream echoed through the hall before we both burst into laughter at the look of horror on my face.  
"I wish you could have seen your face my dear Nichole, you looked as if Nearly Headless Nick had just become completely headless." He chuckled as he swept me up in a huge hug.  
I of course returned it and kissed his cheek, he was becoming more and more like a father to me each day, and I loved it.  
"You would think it was bloody funny wouldn't you Remus, but alas, you also thought it was funny when I found that spider in our bed too." I reminded him as he chuckled and then held his arm out to me.  
I took it as always and let him lead me back down to the doors of the school where he'd left a basket.  
"Of course it was funny, I've never seen someone so scared of a spider." He joked as he picked up the basket and then led me out of the courtyard.  
It was a perfect day for being outside and he knew that I absolutely loved to be outside on days like this.  
"Remus, can I ask you something important?" I said softly as we walked arm in arm toward the northern part of the lake.  
"Of course you can, you should know that you can ask me anything you feel the need to ask." He said as he looked down at me for a moment.  
"Well, you see...this past year has been very trying for me, and I've always noted that you have been there for me every time something went wrong." I said as I looked at a passing butterfly and smiled.  
"Yes my dear, I know there is more, do continue." He said as he stopped and then waved his wand, a blanket appearing on the ground as he knelt down and then offered me a hand to help me down as well.  
"Thank you." I said politely as I sat down next to him and then continued again, "But as I was saying, my parents are now gone and well, I have no one left. Not family anyway, and I was wondering if I could call you my family? We have grown terribly close through all of this, and I feel as if you are my family." I finished as he handed me one of the sandwiches he'd taken out of the basket.  
"Of course you can call me your family, as long as it makes you happy, you can do as you wish as long as it is within reason." He said as he smiled at me and then kissed my forehead.  
"Overprotective father, that's what you are you know." I said while holding back a laugh and trying to be serious.  
"Well then daughter, go ahead and eat up before you starve. You didn't eat breakfast this morning." He replied playfully as he started eating his sandwich.  
I giggled and then started on mine, the food was a very welcome thing since I had, in fact, missed out on breakfast that morning.  
I think we each had two sandwiches, Remus may have had a third one that I didn't notice, but after I'd finished with mine, I laid down on the blanket and looked up at the sky.  
"Something troubling you dear?" Remus asked as he looked over at me with a fondness that made me feel all warm and loved inside.  
"No, nothing at all, I am just enjoying the day out here with you." I said as I reached over and gave his hand a gentle squeeze.  
"Ah, I see that you like our newly found father and daughter activities, if one could call them that." He said as he chuckled and then leaned up against the tree that was next to us.  
"One could very well call them that since you are a father to me now." I said back to him as I closed my eyes and relaxed under the warm summer sun.  
Oh I thought I was going to get a nice nap, but Remus would have nothing of the sort going on.  
I just had drifted off into a very nice daydreaming sleep when I was playfully tackled and then tickled.  
I squealed with laughter as Remus's hands tickled my sides and my stomach, I regretted the day I ever told him I was ticklish.  
"Ahh! No no! Hehehe...stop! Remus!" I giggled as I tried to fend him off with a leaf which only made me laugh harder.  
"Ah my young child, a leaf will not harm me, oh stop that, it tickles my nose!" He chuckled as he tickled me more for it.  
"It...serves you right! Bloody tickling fiend!" I managed to get out before another fit of laughter befell us both.  
We must have laughed for a long time because my stomach hurt immensely when the laughter finally subsided.  
Anyone who had seen us would have thought we were insane, and most likely would have tried to have us committed.  
"I have not laughed like that in a long time, I guess having a daughter is good for my health." Remus said as he sat up and then smiled down at me.  
I giggled and sat up, then leaned over and hugged him tightly, "It felt good to really laugh again, thank you Remus."  
"Ah ah ah, none of this Remus stuff, you can call me father, or whatever else you want, except Remus, Professor, or Lupin." He said as he returned my embrace and then pressed a kiss on the top of my head.  
"Alright, now, what to call you." I said playfully as I started to think of what I wanted to call him. "Well, I guess that I could always call you Father for now."  
He nodded and then mussed up my hair, "Father it is then, and I shall just call you daughter or Alexandra."  
"I will have nothing of the sort, father. You know I hate that name, call me Nikki, or Lexi, something like that, but never Alexandra." I said as he chuckled, already knowing I hated my first name.  
"Ah yes, I seemed to have forgotten your dislike of that name. Very well, I shall think of something to call you." He made a little face to indicate he was thinking and then he chuckled, "I think I shall call you, Chole."  
"Chole...hmm....I like that name, alright, you can call me that if you wish, father." I said as I laughed lightly and then stood up from the blanket.  
I used my wand to help him clean up and then I looked over my shoulder and smiled at him before taking off across the field of fresh summer flowers.  
He was close on my heels and seemed to be enjoying himself as much as I was enjoying myself.  
I turned suddenly and went running past him and he almost fell over trying to turn and follow me, and I laughed lightly as I went running back toward the school.  
When I got close enough, I saw a figure standing in the window watching us, and when I got closer I saw that it was Serverus.  
My moment of hesitation caused Remus to catch up with me and when he did he tackled me and then started tickling me again.  
"Ah! Father that tickles!" I squealed as I laughed and tried to squirm out of his hold.  
"The price the daughter pays for running from her father, you shall learn your lesson one of these days daughter." He said before he let me up and then lifted me to my feet.  
"Perhaps I shall, and then again, perhaps not." I stated as we walked back into the courtyard together, both of us had truly found someone to love and care for since we had no more family. Despite his quirks, I did love Remus dearly, and he was the best father I could have ever asked for, even if he wasn't my real father.  
  
_Oh, forgive me, I'll be right back, I've got to take a quick trip to the bathroom, not that you wanted to know that.  
  
**June 16(Continued)**  
Sorry about that, but things must be done at times, but you knew that already I suppose.  
Alright, now I suppose you are wondering about what went on at the lake the other day huh?  
Well don't worry so much about it because I'm about to tell you all about it as soon as I switch quills.  
  
**Flashback  
**  
_ It was another great day in my summer at Hogwarts, and I'd been having so much fun living with Remus.  
He'd become one of my most favorite people to be around, and he now confided in me like I did him.  
I was sitting on the window seal of my room humming softly to myself as I looked out at the lake.  
"Lexi, are you decent so that I can come in?" Remus asked through my closed door as I turned to it and smiled.  
"Yes I'm decent Daddy, you can come on in." I said as I hopped down from the window and sat on my bed.  
He walked in and came over to me, kissing me on the forehead, "Are you up for going out to the lake today?"  
"I was just thinking about going down there myself." I said happily as I stood up and went to my dresser to find something to wear.  
"I hope you don't mind, but Albus and Serverus are coming with us." He said as he looked around in my vanity for some sunscreen.  
"Of course I don't mind daddy, I'll meet you in the courtyard in five minutes." I said as I kept looking for a swimsuit.  
He smiled and then left the room to go meet up with the others, leaving me alone to think for a moment.  
My mind was running on a million different tracks at the moment, if Serverus was going to be there I would be nervous the whole time.  
With a light sigh, I decided on a green two-piece that I'd bought with Remus a few days ago.  
I slipped it on and then pulled out my bathing suit cover and slid it on over my suit before running down the stairs.  
"Come come Serverus, its just a bit of fun, it will do you good to get back out into the sun for a little while." I heard Dumbledore say as Remus chuckled.  
"That's right, besides, Nichole will be able to make us all laugh, she's a great person with a great personality." Remus said as I came down the stairs.  
"Ok, I'm ready, we can go now." I said cheerily as I went straight to Remus and linked his arm with mine before we all walked outside.  
I glanced at Remus and then nudged him in the side before taking off down the field toward the lake.  
He laughed and then handed his stuff to Serverus before taking off behind me down the hill.  
"My my you run faster every time I chase you Lexi!" He called to me with a laugh before I slowed down a bit and let him catch me.  
He tackled me gently and we rolled to the ground in a fit of laughter as the others caught up with us at last.  
"You are very fast Nichole, I am amazed that Remus managed to catch you." Dumbledore said as he sat down on the blanket Remus had conjured.  
I smiled and then stood up and walked to the edge of the lake, dipping my foot in to see how cold it was.  
When I'd decided that it wasn't too cold, I walked over to Remus and took off my cover-up and then handed it to him.  
"Ah! You wore it, and it looks great on you Lexi!" He said as he smiled and folded the cover-up before placing it down beside him.  
"Thanks dad, it was your choice which one to buy, and you made a great one, so thanks." I said as I kissed his cheek and then walked out toward the lake.  
"She seems to be adjusting very well Remus, I am glad that you have saved her the grief of going back to her home." Dumbledore said as he watched me wade out into the water.  
"I know Albus...I'd never do anything to hurt that child...I care for her far too much to see her hurting." Remus said as he stood up and shed his shirt before walking out toward me.  
I'd found a great deep spot and was swimming happily when I saw Remus and waved to him, "Come on in if you dare."  
He chuckled and then shook his head, "I'm not sure that it's very safe with you in there."  
I faked a pouting face and he rolled his eyes before diving into the water and swimming out to me.  
"See, now that wasn't so bad was it?" I asked as I giggled when he playfully splashed me.  
"You are such a brat sometimes you know that." I only smiled and then swam around a bit more.  
Remus got out a few minutes later and then went to lie down in the sun and relax for a while.  
"Serverus, why don't you go in for a bit?" Remus asked as he laid down on a towel next to the blanket I had laid out.  
"You must be joking..." Snape said as he glanced at Remus before looking back out at the lake.  
"I'm not joking, it will do you some good to have fun you know." Remus responded as he put on some sunscreen.  
With a defeated sigh, Snape stood up and shed his robes, though I don't see how the man was still alive in them anyway.  
From my point in the water, I watched curiously as he also shrugged off his usual Slytherin shirt, revealing a while shirt that I'd never seen before.  
Oh dear...he was taking his shirt off, and I could feel the heat beginning to rise up in my face as I looked away and went back to swimming.  
When he'd taken off his shirt, he shed his black trousers and then waded into the water up to his waist.  
Unfortunately for me, he'd just waded out to the spot where I was swimming and I smacked right into him and came up coughing.  
"Are you alright Miss Garrison?" He asked a little worriedly as he looked at me, unsure of what to do.  
"I'm fine...really..." I managed to cough out before I held my breath for a few seconds to get the coughing to subside.  
I reached up and wiped the water from my eyes along with the tears from coughing, and then looked at him and blushed.  
Remus was watching from the towel and he smiled at Dumbledore, "The perfect couple wouldn't you agree Albus?"  
"I agree Remus, but it is a very fragile relationship since she is so young." Dumbledore said as he looked back out at Snape and me.  
By some amazing feat, I was able to get Snape to enjoy himself swimming, but I learned he was not a very good swimmer.  
I swam out into the deeper water that was at least fifteen feet in depth and he followed me for some reason.  
As I had done with Remus, I playfully splashed him in the face and then he grabbed my arms to stop me from doing it again.  
When he took hold of my arms, we both sank under the water, and I felt his hands tighten on me.  
I opened my eyes and noticed that his were open too and then I motioned for him to come closer.  
He had no problem doing that since he was more than likely scared, but I thought it was kind of funny.  
I had taken a good deep breath before going under, but I could tell he hadn't been ready for the sudden submerge.  
Doing the only thing I knew to do to help him until I got him back to the surface, I leaned in and took his face in my hands.  
He looked about to move away, but I shook my head and then leaned in and pressed my lips tightly to his.  
It was awkward, but I gently coaxed his mouth open and then carefully started to breathe into his mouth.  
I put his arms around my waist and then used my legs to push off of the bottom, letting one of my arms help get us to the surface.  
We came up in a tangle of limbs and hair since mine was down and in the way, and we were being stared at.  
He didn't pull away immediately after we surfaced, but instead he gave me the best kiss I'd ever had before turning and getting out of the water.  
My face was bright red as he walked back up to the shore, and Remus was laughing lightly.  
Needless to say, I'll never think about Professor Snape the same way again, especially not after that kiss that almost made me melt into the lake._  
  
So now I guess you know how I felt that whole time, especially that kiss, I mean wow!  
Man I hope dad never reads this...or Snape for that matter, he'd have a hernia if he knew I wrote about him all the time.  
Well, I must be going now, I've still got that trip to Diagon Alley that I need to make so I'll have something to drink, not to mention a few other things! 


	7. PLEASE READ

Dear readers,

Dear readers,

I am moving all my things to a new account on . That account will be where I update everything from now on, please come by the new account and see some of my works that are already there. They are also posted on AFF as well if you wish to go there. Thank you for your time and happy reading.


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